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So. First off, sorry for the huge delay between posts. Secondly, reason being is a whole new life form. And thirdly, there’s a good chance this is going to be a very short post, as both of them are currently asleep, and in the Venn diagram of toddler/baby sleep patterns, my experience tells me that I’ve got roughly 7.5 minutes to dash this off.

She arrived the day after my birthday, which was extremely polite of her and, I suspect, an indication of things to come. The birth story is as follows:

  • Yes, the labour was shorter than with Teddy.
  • But not that much shorter.
  • Turns out that, yes, it still hurts second time around no matter how many midwives tell you how “slack” you might have become after the first birth. (Midwives should not use the word “slack” in relation to anything other than time-keeping.)
  • NO BLOODY EPIDURAL.
  • (But not through want of asking.)
  • Diamorphine, however, was gratefully received, and was absolutely bloody marvellous.
  • I felt every single burning push. It was horrific.
  • But also incredible.
  • I’m not sure if I pooed. I suspect I might have, possibly while straddling the bed with my bum in the air, lowing like a cow. If you have to poo in public, I thoroughly recommend assuming this position for the most effective nightmarish flashbacks.

So she was born at some time after 5 – neither of us are clear on the time, to be honest. I’ve yet to look in the Red Book (for the uninitiated, this is a little like the Red Room in Jane Eyre, but in literary form, and with slightly less moths) to discover awful truths like weight (teeny), head circumference (ginormous) and so forth.

And we’ve called her Felix. This will result in a post all by itself in time to come. But let’s for now say that when we told everyone that Ted was going to be called Ted, we had a pretty much unanimous response of, “What a cool name!” Which was rather lovely and affirming for us, having worried about the name for about 40 weeks.

With Felix, we’ve also had a unanimous response, which has been: “Huh?”

Which means I’ve been very defensive about it – telling everyone from midwives to relations that harrumph, I just love the name, I knew a girl who had the name when I was little, Felix wouldn’t suit a girly girl kind of name in any case, I like strong names, and BLAH BLAH BLAH. Why are you questioning our choice of name in the first place? Why do I feel so defensive about it? I think it’s an AWESOME name – I would have loved to have been called Felix, were I not already called Esther, which is also a pretty cool name, in my humble. And lots more other things which I’d go into were it not for the fact that the smallest Kraken has awoken and I have to busy myself with getting a boob out and trying not to scream in agony when she latches on.

More on the delights of breastfeeding anon! For now, she’s here, and YES she’s called Felix, and YES she’s not that bad.

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